YEARS AGO, WHEN I was still a devout Christian, earning a degree in theology at a local seminary, I had a rather unpleasant exchange with an atheist.
It's just one more attempt to divide America by dividing Americans.
We had known his fiancé a long time, and when she announced her engagement we had invited them to dinner.
He arrived first.
I brought him into our living room, and began the sort of small talk strangers make on first meeting.
I asked what he did for a living, he told me, and we chatted about that for awhile.
Then he asked the same of me, and I told him about my business, and mentioned that I was also...
"...working on a degree in theology."
He huffed a little, then said, "I think that stuff is all bullshit."
Welcome to our home.
I didn't require that he applaud my decision, or even find it intriguing.
I wouldn't have cared, or even noticed, if he had simply nodded and changed the subject.
And I didn't find his comment "politically incorrect".
I found it rude and insensitive.
A distinction which I don't think we make often enough.
I bring that story up at this point in the year, because I have just heard a similar story from a close friend.
She was on the phone with a mutual friend of ours, and having a pleasant conversation, when it came time to say goodbye.
At that point our mutual friend said to her, a bit belligerently, "I'll say 'Merry Christmas'—I don't believe in all this 'happy holidays' bullshit."
Interesting how that word gets around.
My friend simply replied, "Merry Christmas to you too!" before hanging up.
Neither my friend, nor I when she told me the story, found his comment "politically incorrect".
We simply found it to be insensitive and less than pleasant.
He could have said "Merry Christmas" and left it at that, and she would not have been in the least offended—in fact, she would have been pleased, even though he knows she isn't religious.
Normal people make allowances for the beliefs and customs of the people they talk to every day.
If I'm talking to a Jewish friend during a Jewish holiday, I will wish her a "Happy Hanukkah" or a "Happy New Year" or whatever the occasion requires.
If I'm talking to a Christian, or, frankly, sometimes even to a fellow atheist, I may wish them a Merry Christmas.
If I'm not sure of someone's religion or customs, I'll say "Have a good holiday", or "Happy Holidays".
I'm not being "politically correct"—I'm just being polite, friendly, and human.
My wife and I send out Winter Solstice cards because we like the idea that most human cultures throughout the ages have found a reason to celebrate their holy days near the longest night of the year.
But we don't object to getting Christmas cards, Season Greetings cards, or, in one case this year, a Festivus card: we like them all—and we display them all in our living room.
The thing is—and here we get to the "note to some of my Christian friends" part—this isn't really about religion at all.
The atheist I began this post with was simply a rather insensitive and egotistical person.
The mutual friend in the second story is neither—that kind of belligerent comment isn't like him at all.
I was raised a Christian—even an extreme fundamentalist—and I was not brought up to be rude or belligerent about different customs.
This is relatively new.
And it's political, not religious.
He didn't say that because he's rude, he said it because he's been convinced that it's virtuous to be rude on this topic.
It's in those conservative propaganda emails, which tell lies about the White House not allowing Christmas celebrations.
It comes from Fox News, and all the "war on Christmas" nonsense.
It's designed to isolate Christians from the rest of the culture: not to make them more Christian, but to make them more Republican.
It's just one more attempt to divide America by dividing Americans.
One more attempt to politicize our private lives, to get us to be unpleasant to each other on principle.
And it comes at a time which traditionally stood for peace and goodwill.
Don't fall for it.
I won't be offended if you don't telegraph offense—you can wish me "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Jesus' Birthday" and I promise I'll be glad to hear it, since I know it comes from a loving place.
And if I slip up and say "Seasons Greetings" when you would rather I had said something else, please don't you take offense, either.
I don't intend any.
In fact let me say, here and now, that I wish you a Merry Christmas.
