"Is this some underground radical thing?"
William and I were in his study. His face was beet red.
"Are you part of the eco-Mafia or something?"
I was trying to get him to see the bright side of things.
"William," I said, "please."
He was between me and the door.
"No, I want to know. 'Cause if you're going to kidnap me, or something, and hold me until they—they release a blue whale…"
"I can absolutely, one-hundred percent, explain everything," I said.
"…I'd kind of like to know in time to PACK!"
I managed to get the table between us.
"It was for your own good, William."
"Because I'd really—I know you'll think this is a scream—really come to think of you as a friend…"
If I could just keep him circling the desk…
"Just listen, William."
He was really angry. That vase he was clutching was his favorite.
"You know what I'm going to do, Dudley?—That's great, "for my own good"—'cause you'll be kind of interested in this…"
"Calm down, just calm…"
"I'm going to call the police, and I'm going to have you arrested for, for—it doesn't matter, my lawyers will figure something out."
"We're just going to talk it out, just, please, William…"
He was getting irrational.
"And I'm going to have you—No, I really don't feel like talking about this, 'cause in three seconds I'll be foaming at the mouth,…"
"…just talk it out. And when you understand, believe me, William. You'll be so embarrassed about this scene… You're going to beg my…"
He was clearly in no shape to absorb what I had to say. I decided it was best for him to process his feelings alone for awhile.
I ducked out the doorway.
I probably shouldn't have told him it was me.
The vase missed my head by two inches.