I RECEIVED A CUTE, AND RATHER SINISTER, email recently.
I'll let the "cute" speak for itself:
After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:
'Let me see if I've got this right.
'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride...
'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.
'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.
'You want me to do all this and then you tell me .... I CAN'T PRAY'
Even I smiled.
On the surface it's a clever, friendly, and lightly humorous piece, which resonates with all the good things we know about the teaching profession.
I'm sure (absolutely certain, in fact) that the person who sent it to me forwarded it for just those reasons.
But it contains a subtle, and sinister, piece of propaganda.
In order to get the joke, you have to accept two politically motivated lies—the twin ideas that:
- Liberals (between the lines, but who doesn't get it, really?) would deny religious freedom to others.
- That they are managing to get the government to keep people from praying in schools.
These lies are intended to solidify all who consider themselves religious with the political right.
But, of course:
- If any single citizen's right to pray to the god of their choice was ever denied in this county—on campus or off—the very first organization to rise to their defense would be the ACLU: that bastion of liberal activism which all conservatives hate until their rights are violated.
- The government has never told anyone they can't pray, in school or out of school.
Not teachers, not students.
Any teacher or student can pray at any time they wish.
The government has said that -
- a Muslim teacher cannot use their position of authority in a public school to force Christian or atheist students to pray to Allah, that
- a Christian teacher cannot use their authority to make Buddhist or Jewish students pray to Jesus, and that
- no teacher can use their authority to lead atheist students in prayer to any God.
The email, of course, doesn't simply tell these lies in so many words.
If it did, most readers would think to question it.
Instead, it alludes to the lies as something everyone already knows, and makes it impossible to get the joke unless you accept the lies.
The writer is a pro, as are the people in charge of public relations at BP.
Next: BP and the Worship of Marduk...
