I'VE BEEN RESPONDING, IN THE LAST few posts, to an email from a John J. Wall, proposing that we divide the "landmass" of the country between his "group" and the rest of us.
Most of John's letter is about what else would get divided, and how.
For example, his next point:
"We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks."
Well, John, I just have to say...
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I have nothing against hot Alaskan hockey moms, in general.
I just don't think it automatically qualifies someone to be President. -
You can have the greedy CEO's.
I'll keep the honest ones, who are focused on doing a good and fair job, building toward the future, and contributing to our country instead of just seeing how much they can grab today. -
I've known rednecks who were great people, and rednecks who were racist jerks.
How about you take the racist jerks, and I keep the salt of the earth types?
Next...
"We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .. "
I happen to be quite fond of the Bible, so no, you don't get that.
You'd be surprised, John, at even how many Christians are liberals.
Take, for example, Jesus—and most of the first century church—not to mention countless patriotic Americans.
And you really expect me to believe that you never watch a movie?
Moving on...
"You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us."
Well, we just disagree on this one.
I actually do think diplomacy is a useful tool, and that acting like the schoolyard bully only makes the world into our enemy—beside being just plain wrong.
Invading other countries when they haven't attacked us is a little like cracking the head of the teenager next door with a baseball bat because you think he might want to key your car.
We're the biggest military on the planet, John.
Any country that attacks us has to have a death wish.
We can afford to speak softly, considering the size of the stick in our hand.
Remember, there were no "weapons of mass destruction", and Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.
Grownups deal with the facts, John.
We invaded Iraq without a good reason, and consequently we're still trying to extricate our troops which we sorely need elsewhere.
There's a place for force, but general belligerence is just bad policy.
"You can have the peaceniks and war protesters."
Thanks.
"When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security."
I agree.
"We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values."
Actually I think my positions are more in line with Judeo-Christian values than yours, John.
"Turn the other cheek", "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "Love your enemy", "Don't bear false witness against your neighbor"—stuff like that.
"You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain."
Let's take those one at a time:
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If your "group" contains anyone other than you, John, you probably have a few Scientologists—their processing isn't all that different from yours.
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I think I would want to distinguish between different brands of Islam, just like I would want to distinguish between different brands of Christianity.
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But thanks for the Humanism, and for Shirley.
Next?
"You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill."
Of course not.
That would "redistribution" or, as we used to call it, "sharing".
It would also mean having the skills to play well with others.
"We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars."
"You can take every Subaru station wagon and Toyota Prius you can find."
Actually, I drive a Honda, but my next car might be a fuel efficient American car.
It might be a little harder for you to find that "oversized luxury car" in the coming years—most Americans are grownups: we get the connection between Iran's oil fields, giant oil spills threatening our country's security, and driving gas guzzlers, and we take the responsibility to change our lifestyle a bit.
"You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors."
Thanks. We're working on it.
"We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right."
It's a luxury to have your child not die of a fever, or to have your broken arm set properly, or have your spouse taken care of when they get cancer?
Right, John.
No one deserves that kind of pampering.
Next: John's take on "The Battle Hymn of the Republic,"
the National Anthem, Trickle-Down Economics,
Our Country's History, and the Flag...
