THERE'S A SPIRITUAL, or psychological, law of a kind. It's hinted at in formulations like the golden rule,
"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."
or in other spiritual advice, such as:
"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
The deeper, underlying rule or principal is that we are not really capable of double standards: either as individuals, or in relationship to others.
If I apply a standard to others, I will eventually apply it to myself—even it I do it unconsciously. By the same token, it is very difficult to refrain from holding others to the same standards they hold me to.
This is simply a psychological fact about human beings. We are a social species by nature, and generally egalitarian by nature as well. Our instincts revolt against double standards.
This tendency leads to quite different behaviors depending on which model of morality we use.
According to the legal model, for example, morality is a matter of inflexible rules. Our natural abhorrence of double standards makes it necessary for everyone to follow the same rules.
This combination means that a straight man (or an unconscious gay) who has decided that homosexuality is wrong for himself must also believe that it is wrong for everyone else. He has a moral responsibility to force his own values on the entire culture.
It means that a Christian missionary whose culture requires breasts to be hidden must force that value on the tribe he is trying to convert.
It means, on the other hand, that I must see people who disagree with my rules as willfully perverse—since I would be willfully perverse to go against my own values.
If, on the other hand, we are working from a wisdom model, then morality is the working out of our natural and cultural values in the context of real life.
I expect my behavior to change from day to day as contexts vary, as my needs change, and as my understanding grows.
I do not expect myself to be perfect in all of this, and, in fact, it is not even clear that there is such a thing as moral perfection.
And so my understanding of others is similar.
I expect their behavior to depend on cultural context, on their varying needs, on their changing understanding and wisdom.
I do not find them perverse, as a rule, any more than I find myself perverse.
I am aware that most of the time everyone is doing the best that they can, given their circumstances.
To be continued...
